Trust or Control?

I have been brought up to obey rules. This is the English way. It started as a child in the home, where rules allowed boundaries to be set….clear up your own mess, don’t play with knives….that sort of thing. Rules were dictated by parents who cared, and so we accepted them.

At school we also had rules, most of which we obeyed. At this age we begin to realise that teachers don’t always tell the truth, and that some rules don’t seem to have any basis of logic, some rules seemed to be about control, not care, so our rebellious nature starts to show its face. How that happens is different for everyone, but for me I was mildly naughty at school. I did not ‘bunk off’ (though my dad did!), but I did things that I knew were against the rules. It was fun to live a little dangerously.

School is a place where we learn for ourselves what rules are appropriate to our lives, and how what we do can impact on others. But I for one was not aware of this learning because I was so focussed on learning ‘knowledge’, you know…what they teach at school, using teachers.

So the emotional stuff passed me by, and I became part of the cannon-fodder of English existence in a “cultured” society (for culture you could insert ‘control’). I played by the rules. I learnt the rules of Chartered Accountancy, and applied them for my job. This gave me credibility in a secure, but dull, world. The ‘rebel’ had diminished as I took on greater responsibility. I was in control.

I could have continued like this, retired, lived in Spain and played bridge and golf.

What saved me was Trust. I believe have integrity. My thought, word and deed are in alignment. I am therefore trustworthy. I also extend my trust to anyone I meet. Sometimes this causes me problems when they break that trust, but I have realised that it is better to do this than the opposite, which is to treat everyone with suspicion.

I trust my tenants and my team, and they trust me. This then for me has become the basis for business. Trust works fast. Trust makes things easy. Trust has to be carefully nurtured and managed. It is delicate, and can easily be diminished, if you allow it, by those who choose to break your trust.

You only need Control where there is no Trust.

Here is an example. All of my tenants are free to stay as long as they want in my premises, and they can leave when they want as well. I have given away the control that is usual under a lease arrangement, because I trust that they want to stay.

So what does that say about rules?

Well our world is full of complex and ever changing rules, regulations, and laws which we somehow have to live with. They all have a purpose, or at least they did when they were set. Many rules are set to allow us to live in a civilised society, and so we can accept them, other rules seem to be more about control. Some people are content to live their lives bound by all of these rules. Others are not. They are the rebels, or the freedom fighters, and they reside in the entrepreneurial arena.

Entrepreneurs are people who have created a life of independence. They are excited by the changing environment, and they are limited and controlled by rules and regulations which set their boundaries, and stall their growth. They learn to navigate their way through, and sometimes it seems like walking through quicksand.

In order for this Country to grow again we have to listen to our entrepreneurs, and begin to trust them. We have to stop setting rules, and remove as many as possible. All rules have a reason, so we need to examine the reasoning in the light of the question “Is this rule here because we do not Trust?”. Such rules could be removed.

The public sector is not fit for this task. The public sector is populated by people who are comfortable within the rules, and see every reason for applying the rules, and no reason for removing any. Many see their job as applying rules to ‘prevent’ bad things happening. It is in their interest to increase the rules.

The professional sector is also not fit for this task. Their professional lives revolve around a defined set of rules which they have learnt, and apply, for money. It is in their interest to increase the rules.

So who is fit for this task? I think we have to ask an entrepreneur.

And by the way, Control is really a way of invoking fear, and Trust is closely linked to love.